"Similar to cold being no more than a lack of heat, weakness is simply a lack of strength. One does not eliminate weakness. One can only build strength"
In Mission Mastery, I further this concept by breaking down how our strength is determined by our ability and commitment to climb, whereas our power resides in our ability to maintain our mission despite what stressors surround us.
All that being said, we men continue to have hidden weaknesses with which to contend regularly. These are the instances where we actually reject the climbing of our ladders of strength, but do so subconsciously and without intent.
Of the many I've coached numerous students through, here are...
The Top 5 Hidden Weaknesses of Men
I've seen it in Jiu Jitsu hundreds of times over the last 22+ years... A new guy gets his ass kicked, is mesmerized by the art, starts training like a mad man, gets good at one aspect of the art... then spends the rest of his days there, avoiding positions he's not as adept at like the plague.
Chances are, if you're worth anything as a man, you have what we can call a super power, or an ability that is highly developed and is at a level beyond that of your peers.
Well, if a super hero wears a cape to use his powers, then he still needs to develop those "cape-less skills"!
Many men allow their sense of self-worth to reside almost exclusively in their super powers and, over time, this creates an aversion to the type of exposure we need to our "future strengths" that will allow us to strengthen them and maintain balance in our lives.
Ask yourself: "Have I designed my life to center completely around my super power, or do I own and continue to invest in my future strengths?"
If you've got this hidden weakness bested, well, then you're further along than even I am!
If we liken self-improvement to the climbing of a ladder, then those who keep us from climbing I will call "anchors".
Anchors are those people in your life who will sabotage your pursuit of mission just by maintaining the alliance.
Anchors are those who:
I could go on, but I think you get what I'm describing here.
Now, of course it's solid advice to suggest one to downgrade your alliance with these types, if not discard it altogether, but they're only half the issue here.
"Rooting for someone", a phrase I first heard in this context from Pamana Tuhon Chris Sayoc of Sayoc Kali, is when we've identified an individual as an anchor, but continue to throw good resources after bad, avoiding doing what needs to be done in the process.
When we root for an anchor, it's often for either of two reasons (or both):
1. We think we'll hurt us if we downgrade them, while being unwilling or lacking the confidence to compensate for the loss of synergy. "I can't afford to lose him"
2. We think it'll hurt them and make us a traitor in the process. "I can't bail on her now"
The fact of the matter is that, once identified as anchor, the ideal response is to downgrade/sever the alliance immediately. The time it takes from one point to the next is a testament to where an individual is in his development in this ability.
The better developed, the less time til action. The less developed, the more time needed to wrestle, not with the logic, but with the emotion of the scenario.
My advice is to move swiftly once that movement is understood to be the stronger course of action... Or you can just be weak and unhappy, but with company.
We've evolved as dance partners of the natural world.
From the design of our bodies, to the balance of our minds with nature, we are more efficient when there exists no entity between the self and the natural world.
In our reality, however, there will always exist those who would convince us that their echo of nature is sufficient to maintain your connection to the real thing.
They'll sell you on ideas like...
We know these (and so many other similar observations) to be true, yet how many of us design our lives to pursue goals and rewards given value by the disconnected ambitions of strangers?
Let me remind you...
My advice is to take inventory of all the ways you've designed to pursue these three goals, discard every one that relies on the approval of the disconnected, and work to replace them with the natural world as your ally... as it was intended!
Most obstacles in the real world are made up of a symphony of variables.
Many men rely on reducing these multivariate problems into a singular variable solution.
They want to flip switches (spend one beat to fix the issue) and/or press buttons (execute only one task, repeatedly is necessary).
"There are no solutions. Only trade-offs." - Dr. Thomas Sowell
What the good Doctor knows is that rarely, if ever, is an obstacle made up of only one variable, and with that in mind, fixing an issue is more often than not "remixing the ingredients".
There are three major flaws in this Switch and Button Bias:
1. The (aforementioned) reduction in variables to a single one.
2. It presumes a specific, favorable outcome is even possible.
3. It disincentivizes building a consistent, movement based response.
My advice?
Having observed and coached over one hundred men to date wrestle with this issue, when facing an obstacle/problem, presume there are multiple variables and begin the movement toward forging the most mission-compatible outcome possible.
In The Loyalty Matrix, my original video series on Tribe, I introduced the concept of the Tribal Spectrum Snapshot (image below) and the effect it illustrated when observing how rituals influenced the strength of a tribe.
When we let the disconnected vie for our resources, over time we will allow our priorities to become ambiguous.
These days, from the newest phone that you've been convinced you need to upgrade to (have you ever considered how ridiculous a premise this is?), to being hollow shamed (that's all outsiders can do) into adding various pharmaceuticals into your diet, to being encouraged to pay for the privilege of filling you and your family's heads with garbage and propaganda sold as "entertainment"... I have one question?
Why are you listening to these people in the first place?
Here are some ways I battle this weakness in my own life...
Ultimately, what I'm advocating for are two main points:
1. What is the priority list of your resources being invested into your and tribe?
2. Who is helping you design that list in the first place?
Every bit that is invested on the disconnected is wasted from the tribe.
I hope you enjoyed this list! Gratitude for reading it!
Stay on Mission,
MC
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